We often see how chronic illness can lead to intense loneliness, which in your case sounds compounded by the other factors that you mentioned in your question. While self-care is always at the top of my list of tools for wellbeing (and I’m glad to hear that you have some in place), I might also suggest prioritizing connection and intimacy above anything else. In Ayurveda we talk about a very refined substance called Ojas. It is responsible not only for our immunity and overall wellbeing, but also for our joy and happiness. Ojas is a very subtle essence and difficult to produce, so we are taught to guard it by practicing a balanced lifestyle. One interesting way that we can cultivate Ojas is through touch and connection to other good people. This can come in many forms: receiving a massage, talking to a close friend, sitting amongst a group of likeminded/hearted individuals, looking lovingly into the eyes of another, taking a group class like gentle yoga, holding a baby, interpersonal laughter and pretty much anything that brings us closer to the loving essence of another. So perhaps you could start thinking outside of the box for different ways to establish satisfying and reciprocal moments of relating? Then, beyond these connections you could also protect and increase Ojas by working on excellent digestion, spending time in nature, continuing to move gently inwards towards the body/heart/mind, reducing stress and tension in any way possible and letting go of everything that’s hindering lasting inner peace. Your situation is difficult indeed, but I believe that at the base of our nature is wisdom and love and I’m so happy to hear that you continue to seek out ways to realize that.