WHERE I STAND WITH THE PSYCHEDELIC RENAISSANCE

It has been about 6 years since clients began to show up in my office to unpack their experiences with ayahuasca, while others expressed curiosity about the antidepressant effects of ketamine and psilocybin. During this time, psychedelic medicine has moved from an underground practice to a well-researched and effective adjunct to psychotherapy. According to many advocates, it is psychiatry's most significant advancement in the past 50 years!

This came as a pleasant surprise for me personally, who began exploring psychedelics as early as my teen years (when I was already interested in the same themes around consciousness that capture my attention today). I’ll never forget my first acid trip, lying in a cemetery with several friends, watching the snow gently falling towards me, and realizing that I would never see the world in the same way ever again. In those special moments, I was overcome by feelings of hope and gratitude, a knowing that the universe was inherently good, and a belief that this life was much more extraordinary than I had ever imagined. My decade spent in Hebrew school and my parents’ practice of Judaism couldn't hold a flame to the sacredness of that night. And so began my lifelong search for the true self and the meaning of life.

Despite my beautiful and innocent beginning with psychedelics, the long journey of drug use that ensued was a meandering path of many unbelievably powerful moments peppered with confusion, various dependencies, poor decision-making, and struggles with my mind and emotions; by the time that I traded in my party card for a yogic lifestyle, I was pretty certain that this chapter had closed for good.

With the integration of psychedelic therapy into my professional work, I feel like I have come full circle. Given my ample personal experience coupled with professional training, I am now uniquely qualified to serve those who use plant medicines and other psychedelics. I have also bolstered my knowledge with the current science and prevailing views on how and why they work and can now draw from dozens of my own case studies from clients who have utilized ayahuasca, psilocybin, ketamine, and other medicines in their pursuit of good mental health and more transpersonal inquiries into the nature of the self and reality.

I believe there is a place for psychedelics in the practice of psychotherapy, and also that they are not the panacea that many of the startups and psychedelic juggernauts would have us believe. They appear to be best suited for those with a stable sense of the self who are eager to explore their subconscious in conjunction with regular psychotherapy and a real effort to make habit-based change. They are not suited for those who are just looking for the next entertaining “experience” or anyone who may have susceptibility towards mental health crises or psychosis.   

There is much to consider regarding which psychedelic, the route of administration, the most appropriate setting, the dosage, and the length of treatment (for instance, I’m really not a fan of clients running off to places like Costa Rica for a casual psychedelic retreat). I have observed everything from their deleterious effects (with one client who stopped their use of anti-depressants under the medical guidance of a ketamine provider) to profound and lasting change in the population that I serve. From the list of the many positive outcomes, I can think of clients who have reduced (and even eliminated) anxiety, OCD, binge eating, depression, and other mental health imbalances (particularly for those that express a narrowed way of thinking about the self, other, and world). And while I could never say that the psychedelics were causative of such great improvements they were undoubtedly correlative.

It should also be noted that psychedelics can be very challenging due to their confrontative nature. When the medicines are properly dosed an expedited and magnified experience of the self’s pain and limitations can become glaringly obvious, and if a person is deeply identified with these mind-manifestations their journey and subsequent integration period will likely be quite tender. However, if enough psychotherapeutic work is done on either side of their use, psychedelics can also help one to depersonalize and relinquish harmful ideas about their ego-identity and clear the way for a more enjoyable and virtuous sense of self. Though this is much easier said than done, it is an extremely necessary part of any effective psychological healing with or without psychedelic medicine.   

Since their renaissance, many of my clients have inquired about psychedelics, including the most surprising of those whom I never would have anticipated any appetite for such things. If you find yourself curious I implore you to make sure that you have the proper resources for this work, including adequate time and knowledge for preliminary exploration and preparation; the insurance that you are either under medical guidance or have well-sourced the medicine that you will be ingesting; and, proper support during your journey and after throughout the integration period when the majority of the benefit can be stabilized.

I am grateful for my experiences with psychedelics and the profundity of the lessons that they have taught me about my self, mind, and spiritual beliefs. I am also tickled-pink that I am now in a position to be able to use this knowledge to support others in their own exploration. I would however also like to state that I believe that psychedelics should be considered as a stage and not a stop along our path of psychospiritual development. I do not believe that they are useful as a lifelong practice (except possibly for the biochemical treatment of pain and/or depression, which is only necessary for a very small percentage of the population), and much prefer the path of meditation as a tool for our deepest inquiries into the nature of reality. Having said this, psychedelic medicine can be a truly profound and beneficial tool when used with the intelligence that they command. Should you have an interest in exploring this modality please don’t hesitate to reach out for a consultation and we can discuss the best path forward.

ANTI-RACIST ACTIVSIM

As a yogini, it is through contemplation, practice, and self-expression that my heart-mind opens beyond yesterday's limitations. This is my activism. 

1. I must commit to staying awake. No matter how painful it is to acknowledge my ignorance and racial prejudices, how horrid it is to see racism play out in my community, and how devastating it is to witness the count of murdered black lives rise - I must not look away. This reality must become an integrated part of my being - one that does not ebb and flow with the cycles of crisis, but one that infiltrates my consciousness until it informs ALL of my actions in body, speech and mind. 

2. I must commit to expanding my awareness. Through education and listening to black voices, I must better understand the history of slavery and racism and seek to know the experience of what it is like to confront daily micro and macro aggressions while walking through our world as a black person. 

3. I must commit to uncomfortable conversations - both in calling out racism and owning my own - even when it gets messy, even when language fails to show my good intentions, and especially when I'm failing to prop up a self-image that I like. 

4. I must drop my defenses and yield to feedback that addresses any blind spots of racism that persist beyond my capacity.

5. I must find my unique contribution to uplift black lives as part of my larger commitment to benefit ALL beings.

May each of you on the path find your authentic activism, as our most honest contribution is our greatest one.

THE FOUR IMMEASURABLES - PART 2 - ON LOVE

Last week, I wrote a blogpost on the four immeasurables (compassion, gratitude, equanimity and joy), but failed to mention that gratitude is actually a placeholder for love. 

In today’s age we confuse love with affection, romance, lust, and attachment; we experience it more often as something we can “get” from another and less so as a virtuous state of being.

Love is mistaken as a commodity.  

What then is love?         

Love is actually beyond concept; it is a state of consciousness that is spontaneously arising, luminous, and ever-present.

One of the words for love in Sanskrit is advaitabhavana, which translates as, “the feeling of not two”.  So love is the ultimate experience of non-duality.  Not to be mistaken with codependency, love is the first possibility of unambiguously experiencing another as self.   

Let’s be honest, how many of us actually have a reference point for this?  (The closest I have come is the first few weeks after my son’s birth when it viscerally felt as if we were one.)  

Love is one of the signposts along the spiritual path.  We get there with applied effort, such as devotion and accepting/treating all others as we do ourselves.  It is not the work of martyrdom, but instead the celebration of humanity and life, and it arises naturally as we become less attached to the individual I.       

Like love, gratitude is a virtuous state, yet easier to conjure at any stage by cherishing each moment of our existence.  When selfless service and love’s other qualities still feel untenable, gratitude may be used as a gateway, since once we can really appreciate our lives, we will innately desire to share them with others, eventually experiencing all as one (love) seeking the same ultimate liberation.  

It is at this point, once we have stabilized the internal state of love (or at least can summon it with relative ease), that we then can practice the traditional immeasurables: compassion, equanimity, joy and LOVE.  

THE FOUR IMMEASURABLES

Last week, after a long day of travel, I was standing in line at a U.S. customs hall when I noticed that my typical mode of frustrated urgency had been replaced with a simple practice that I had just learned while away on retreat; my energy was neutral and my mind was exploring: 

Compassion - “all of these other weary travelers are also tired and wanting to get home, particularly the aged and the children.”

Gratitude - “how lucky am I to have just attended the most incredible 2-week retreat in Costa Rica and then travel home so quickly by plane?”

Equanimity - “how would it feel to be poised, graceful and self-possessed in this tedious cue?”

and 

Joy - “how can I evoke a sense of lightness and delight in my being?”

These qualities are called the 4 Immeasurables and are pulled from a deeper and more comprehensive teaching, instructed by Dharma Bodhi of Trika Mahasiddha Yoga. They can be used as a second attention (a background awareness that is maintained throughout the day) to condition our minds toward virtuous thinking and therefore undermine the negative thoughts that so often disturb our moods and behavior.  When rehearsed with regularity, this practice gives rise to an intelligent, non-reactive, and loving standard of interaction with the world, eventually replacing less attractive character traits altogether.

Psychospiritual growth is not something that we can just wish into being.  It takes a moment-to-moment commitment to overriding our dysfunctional conditioning and replacing it with something more kind and adaptive.  Each time we purposefully evoke compassion, gratitude, equanimity and joy the brain releases a cascade of neuropeptides, strengthens new neural grooves, and encourages these four qualities again and again.  With repetition, the 4 immeasurables will arise without conscious effort, just like any other Pavlovian response.     

Imagine the impact on our relationships (work, romantic, family, etc.) if each time that we felt emotionally triggered we remembered to act with compassion, gratitude, equanimity and joy.  Not only would we begin to feel more emotionally empowered, but we would reduce, and quite possibly eradicate, any reactivity that contributes to unnecessary quarrels and relational harm.  

This simple practice can also take a huge bite out of depression, anxiety, stress, trauma, grief, and other mental imbalances, replacing those states of consciousness with wisdom and vitality.  

Now imagine that everyone else around you was also implementing this mantra; that anyone who you approached was sure to greet you with sincere kindness and respect.  We would become a fearless species where unbounded intimacy ruled the day… (I love to dream about the kinds of changes that would occur with the collective betterment of the human psyche).  

But back to reality…

It has now been a couple of weeks since I have committed to this second attention practice and I feel more joyful, present and relaxed in my own skin.  It has provided me with a new method for transforming negative emotions and conflict, as well as a technique for flavoring the backdrop of the empty spaces in my being.

Reconditioning the mind takes effort and dedication, yet replacing typical thoughts/feelings of anger, fear and ignorance with those of compassion, gratitude, equanimity and joy will unequivocally bring us several steps closer to our true and brilliant nature. 

WHY IS THERE YOGA IN YOUR PSYCHOTHERAPY?

I’m often asked why I chose to integrate yoga with psychotherapy.  Simply put, the therapeutic application of classical Yoga is my greatest passion and life’s purpose.  There is nothing I have discovered in Western psychology, organized religion or new-aged traditions that can even cast a shadow upon the profundity and effectiveness of Yoga for mental and emotional transformation and human optimization.

So how did this come to be?  (the short version)

After graduating with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, I attended my first yoga teacher training; 30-days of immersive study and practice.  Within the first couple of days we were taught a technique called Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) and were led through 2, 30-mins sessions each subsequent day.  This is much like jumping into the deep end after only learning how to blow bubbles in the shallow.  I was very quickly flooded by an awareness of the active trauma in my life back home and spent one entire morning crying hysterically as I came to grips with this revelation.  That day was the first step of my personal (and tenuous) healing journey.

After several years of inquiry and practice, I became certain that Yoga (not just the asana kind) is unequivocally more potent than psychology. So, I lost interest in modern psychotherapeutic systems and launched myself into the bowels of yogic study.  It was only after it was suggested to me that I needed a career that could carry my knowledge and conviction that I went back to the more traditional route of degrees and licensure.  Hence, Yoga Psychotherapy was born.

Integrating classical Hatha Yoga and Āyurveda with modern psychotherapy has yielded a system that IMHO is more complete (and therefore more effective) than anything currently offered in the field of psychology; in fact, it is light years ahead.  Both yoga and Āyurveda have deep philosophical roots and techniques for the treatment of the whole person and simply cannot be rivaled by the pubescent stages of Western psychology, whose theories and clinical applications are only just starting to scratch the surface of the human condition and our place within the universe.  And quite honestly, with the direction that our planet is taking, we don’t really have the time for psychology to catch-up.    

The yoga tradition understands the mind and emotions far more intricately and compassionately than the pathologizing checklists of DSM diagnoses.  We understand mental imbalance as an organic response to the environments in which we live, rather than viewing them through the lens of illness or the judgment of personality flaws and weakness.   

Yoga Psychotherapy not only provides effective treatment for trauma, mood disorders, personality struggles, and more, but it can also reveal the direction of our life’s purpose as we come into deeper contact with the true, uninhibited self.  If desired, Yoga Psychotherapy will further illuminate the first few stages of a fruitful spiritual path.  In contrast, Western psychology, at best, can only promise temporal happiness (i.e. not permanent) by way of a healthy ego and not the deeper meanings of life.

Yoga Psychotherapy is about becoming human in an increasingly traumatized world, where we are pulled towards all kinds of buffers and unhealthy coping mechanisms just to stay afloat.  To benefit from this technology, it is NOT necessary to have an interest in going to public yoga classes or even in spiritualizing (although a natural byproduct).  We will not be doing yoga postures in session, instead you will slowly be introduced to a living wisdom of health and vitality, applicable to your unique situation; one that can transform your mind and emotions into powerful agents of self-mastery.  

When people ask me about this work, I tell them that, “as far as I’m concerned it’s the only game in town”.  With so much suffering on our ailing planet and access to this ancient wisdom, which is quite possibly even more applicable today than it was during centuries past, really, what else would I be doing with this one precious life?

AN INTRO TO PSYCHOTHERAPY

As modern philosopher, Alain de Botton, so rightly suggests in the video below: “Knowing how to live isn’t an instinct…it’s a skill”.

I too believe that living is an art and that psychotherapy provides a great opportunity to experiment and implement one’s unique approach to stabilizing happiness, purpose and success.

It takes courage to start therapy, so if you find yourself hesitating, this video may not only answer some of your questions, but may be just the thing to get you through the door.

KNOW THE BODY, KNOW THE UNIVERSE

This is not another post about the importance of self-care (although it is critical, so just do it!), but instead about our limited awareness and surface relationships to our health and to our bodies. 

This past fall I fell ill with walking pneumonia. It took me over a month to bother with diagnosis and treatment and almost 3 months later I am still in recovery. Then, last weekend, I finally made it back to my beloved yoga studio, only to injure myself by taking on my practice with the same vigor that I possessed before this extended sick-leave. 

In response to having to take yet another week off exercise, I have sat down to share a view of health that I greatly value, as its profundity is comforting, and relevant to any of us inhabiting a human body.  

HEALTH IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF SYMPTOMS!  

Ayurveda tells us that health is simply happiness and that we can experience true health in the midst of decay, and even right into the passage of death.  This is accomplished in clinical application by balancing the dosha (a consideration of the 5 elements) and within a psycho-spiritual lens by honoring the body exactly as it is.

What a relief it is to accept the true nature of our physical beings: biological matter that is decomposing from the moment our consciousness inhabits it.  As it is said, “the only cause of death is birth”.  

Many of us treat our bodies as an inconvenience, something that needs to be tended to so that we may get on with whatever may be to our liking (career, family, fun, etc.)  We get frustrated when the body doesn’t work in the ways that we demand and obsess with trying to stunt its deterioration, particularly with the illusion of youth. On top of this, we do little to form any actual loving relationship with our bodies and typically punish it for its so-called “imperfections”. 

Our health has become another symbol of entitlement in 21st century consumerism.  

In Tantra, the body is not seen as a vehicle for the soul’s bidding, but instead as the path to enlightenment itself.  Tantrikas practice to transcend the duality of health and disease, and deeply delight in, and say “yes” to all experience of being.  This doesn’t mean that we just let ourselves go, but with essential dignity we walk the razor’s edge between health cultivation and surrender, using our bodies to guide the way.

One of the most important practices we can utilize for true health is maintaining a moment-to-moment awareness of our energy state, and then responding to our actual needs - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual (this requires another conversation as we’ve largely buried our natural wisdom to know what those are).  In this way, we send a deep message to our bodies of its importance, and our desire to maintain the symbiosis between ourselves and nature.  This ultimate act of self-love also encourages a cohesion of our cells, tissues and organs so that they may work optimally to support the body’s strength.  In reverse, we could say that the more disconnected we are from our bodies (in both health and disease, pleasure and pain) the more susceptible we become to illness and accident.  

There are a myriad of practices in Tantra, Ayurveda and Yoga that can help us to train our awareness and reconnect to true health, but for now, I invite you to sit in meditation and contemplate the cohesion of your body and its interconnectedness to nature and the rest of the universe; then, as you feel yourself as part of the whole, infuse it with your signature energy, wisdom and love.

This approach to understanding health is largely unknown in the West, and the perspective is subtle and not easily demonstrated, however,  cultivating this view and its practice will not only bring you ultimate health and happiness, but it will deepen your quality of life (and death) on every level imaginable. 

May all beings be happy and free!

WRESTLING WITH #METOO IN PSYCHOTHERAPY

The first couple of times that I saw the metoo hashtag while scrolling through facebook, I was met with the familiar shame and secrecy that used to arise in response to the sexual misconduct that was perpetrated upon my younger self.  While I briefly thought about contributing my voice, my defenses unanimously decided upon a hard pass.  It wasn’t until I saw EB’s #metoo, a woman from high school that I couldn’t believe had been subjected to some of the same atrocities, that I gathered enough courage to post my own.  

In the months that followed I have reflected deeply, not only upon my own history (in both the healing that I’ve done and that which is still left to do), but what this movement means for the women (and men) in my psychotherapy practice.  

I have always considered it standard procedure to wait for a client to report any sexual harassment or abuse, unless I sensed that the likelihood was present.  However now that I have come to understand the prevalence of sexual harm in the lives of EVERY woman, I have started to routinely ask the more difficult questions, for the reality has proven that no woman who crosses the threshold of my office hasn’t been negatively impacted by society’s misogynistic practices. 

As I delve deeper into this work, one of the most alarming realizations is what up until now we have ALL accepted as normal: it is normal for men to objectify women; it is normal for women to be catcalled on the street and to feel unsafe walking alone at night; it is normal for our boyfriends to report their sexual attraction to our girlfriends; it is normal for men to expect sex after they have wined and dined us; it is normal for men to pull us a little too close, kiss us however they want hello and goodbye, ogle us from head to toe, comment on our physical appearances and make us feel completely uncomfortable.  It is normal, whether we like it or not.  

As women, we were not only taught to brush off these ongoing threats to our self-esteem and wellbeing, but we were also taught not to be cock-teases, that blue balls were excruciating and that once sex begins it should not be interrupted until the conclusion was signaled by the male orgasm.  It’s no wonder that in so many long term relationships, women tire of sex and even find it painful. 

As I work with a lot of couples, all of whom are struggling with various aspects of intimacy, I have also begun to inquire into the male perspective of #metoo and quite honestly, it hasn’t been reassuring.  Before I go any further, I want to be clear that ALL of these men are good and caring people who wouldn’t intentionally hurt the women in their lives, but they have also been raised on the same shitty ideas about power dynamics and sex.  My first observation when raising this topic was that many men have a knee-jerk reaction to say, “I know it’s awful, but I’m not like those other men”, not wanting to be lumped into a pile with the likes of Harvey Weinstein.  Other men struggle to understand the continuum of sexual harassment, abuse and violence, not understanding how seemingly innocent behaviors, like unwelcomed flirtations actually contribute to the persistence of rape culture.  And finally, some men are simply quiet, afraid to say the wrong thing, clearly not knowing how or where to begin to even contribute to the conversation.

What is obvious to me is that there is a lot of talking to do.  As women, we must use our emotional triggers to understand where our boundaries lie, we must use our voices to discuss when they’ve been crossed and we must cultivate clarity so as to educate men on when they miss the mark.  For men, they must examine their attitudes and behaviors towards women and sex and not be afraid to join the discussion, even when it’s messy and they’re proven trapped in their ignorance.  We all must examine our relationships and sex lives and rid them of the patterns that promote inequality, while working to deepen our understanding of each other. 

These notes just scratch the surface of how my mind is wrestling with the #metoo movement and its intersection with psychotherapy.  When I began my career in psychology, treating the severely mentally ill, I never could have imagined that I would spend so much of my day addressing love and relationships.  #Metoo has greatly accelerated my understanding of the current issues that plague modern relating and while I don’t have ALL of the answers I am grateful to those who are engaging me in the topic. 

I believe in the healing of women from past sexual trauma, while avoiding future harm and I believe in our men in becoming better agents of advocacy and alliance.  I am committed to continuing my own work, to lead by example and to assist others in doing the same.  I welcome any and all conversation that can deepen our collective wisdom and compassionate action.  And finally, I am forever indebted to the courageous women who couldn’t wait one moment longer to use their voices for change.  Together we will rise.

IS YOUR STRESS-RESPONSE STUCK ON OVERDRIVE?

Do you often feel wired-and-tired?  Do you have trouble sleeping?  Do you notice that when you have a moment to relax that your mind doesn’t stop racing? Do you feel anxious energy almost all of the time?  

If these are familiar states for you then it is likely that your stress-response is stuck on overdrive, or in more scientific terms that your sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight response) is overactive and dysfunctional.  This branch of the autonomous nervous system (ANS) is tremendously useful in short bursts, moving blood away from your organs and towards your periphery (arms and legs) to prepare you to spring into action.  However, because of the effort that the body requires to do this, it also has a catabolic or breakdown effect on your organs and tissues.  This is why stress is responsible for so much illness, including: digestive issues, skin issues, PMS, high blood pressure, heart disease, IBS, ulcers, chronic fatigue, insomnia, addiction, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and the list goes on and on…

To maintain good health our parasympathetic nervous system (relaxation response) must be dominant.  This is actually the body and mind’s natural and preferred state as it is regenerative and life-affirming.  

Most people living in big cities have flipped their nervous systems where fight-or-flight is the norm, and as a result are not only decreasing their quality of life but also shortening their lifespans.  Even just a low-grade, chronic state of stress and anxiety has degenerative effects on the body and the mind. So how do we reverse this and regain a functional ANS?  

This is where the brilliance of Ayurveda shines.  Through a daily routine (dinacarya) you can implement various techniques, including self-massage (abhyanga), dietary support, yoga, meditation and other lifestyle changes to promote the function of the parasympathetic nervous system.  Learning to regularly schedule time for self-care is not only deeply enjoyable, but necessary for living your healthiest and most productive life.  

It is also critical to learn how to place boundaries with work, family and other obligations (without minimizing your effectiveness and achievement) so that stress is something that pops up periodically, rather than your regular state of being.  This can be hard when you have been taught to be everything for everyone, all of the time.  

There are so many great ways to find balance in your life and the most important thing is to develop a toolbox that is going to work for you.  By default, helping others do this has become a specialty in my practice due to the disproportionate amount of people struggling with this issue.  If I can help you or someone you know to regain a sense of peace and harmony in your life, please reach out for a consultation.  Living this way, is no life at all.